So today I turn 30. Thirty. 3-0. It's a number with a whole lot of baggage. Personally, I thought I would hate the whole business of turning 30. It has always felt like it was a big deal and a big life-changer, probably right up until about 27 years old. But really, now, I am not scared of it like I used to be. In fact, I think 30 is going to bring a lot of good things.
I feel so very happy with many things in my life. I met my husband and we started going out when we were in school. We survived four years of a long distance relationship, 3.5 while I was in Scotland and my husband remained in Ireland, and 6 months while I lived in the South of France. He is my whole world and my rock. Nothing is a struggle with him or for him. He has stood by me as I put myself through undergraduate and masters degrees, while I struggled finding myself when I relocated home to NI and worked out what the hell I was going to do with my life. He picks me up every single day and is literally the sun in my world, I could never be without him. So as I turn 30 and I look back on our 12 years together as a couple, I feel overcome with happiness that this beautiful man has chosen me and we are moving forward as a family together.
I have a great job that I really love going to each day. And sure, I could make more money, but I am doing something I really enjoy and in a field I never saw myself in. I work for a company that accepts people have a life outside of work, and I leave the office at 5pm pretty regularly and don't have to think about work when I'm home. And I get 30 days leave to spend seeing the world. I learn and I am challenged every day, and I work with a great and intelligent bunch of people.
I have a family scattered over the globe, but I see their faces every week. And we are close and love one another and spend time to find out what's going on with each other. I have a large extended family a lot closer to home, and we make time to be with one another and be true friends. I lost my nana last year, and that was the most difficult and biggest blow I have ever faced. I was with her when she passed away, holding her hand. I thank the universe every day for her, and for our special bond. She will hold my hand every day and guide me through the rest of my life. I thank my nana for her children: my uncles, my mother and my godmother. My godmother and I have only got closer since her passing, and she is a second mother to me and I love her from the bottom of my heart.
I have a very close-knit group of friends, who are in contact nearly every single day. We share highs, lows, tears and laughs together every year as we have done for the last 24 years now.
I feel so blessed that I go to bed each night in a clean, warm, secure home, with clothes on my back and food in my belly. I have the luxury of hot showers and fresh pyjamas. I have the luxury of getting up in the morning and choosing what I wear that day, from a variety of options. I travel to a job where I use my brain and my opinions are respected. I am using my education, that I paid relatively little for. I travel home in a beautiful car that my husband and I pay for with our full-time jobs. I wake up on a Saturday morning, and I make a gorgeous cup of coffee and read for pleasure. I walk my beloved little pup, who loves me endlessly and without hesitation. I fall asleep with my arms wrapped around the love of my life.
I know this post is soppy. And I know I may have pissed a few people off. But it's truly how I feel, I am so so lucky and so grateful for so much in my life. And milestones like this are the perfect opportunity to sit back and take stock of how things are. I have many downfalls, and I am trying to address them and I try to improve and grow every day. I could definitely be a better wife. I am overweight. I could do more around the house. I could be a better dog owner and go for more walks. I could be a better friend and pick the phone up more often. I could be a better sister and book flights to see my brother more often. He's the best friend I have known the longest, and sometimes I don't show him how much I love him.
And 30 won't change a lot of these things. I will continue to strive to be better. And I will continue to appreciate when I fail and try to learn something sunny and positive from that failure. I have this feeling that 30 isn't my milestone, and the 32 things before I'm 32 bucket list that I have is a more accurate milestone. I want to be at my target weight by 32. My house will be built and I'll be settled in it at 32. Maybe someday I'll share that list with you. 32 is the new 30.
Now for some cake.
